Monthly Archives: November 2017

Death And Grief – Revisiting SPC Episode 32

Death And Grief.

Death and grief are subjects that are often overlooked at the holidays. Celebrations can be difficult for families who have recently experienced a loss. Adults and children experience grief in different ways, especially children with special needs. The important thing to remember is there is no time-frame for ‘getting over it’ or even the so-called ‘sense of closure’ (which often never happens). With that in mind, we invite you to listen again to episode 32 from January of 2016, to get some great advice on coping with grief. 

Death is one of those subjects that few people want to talk about, yet everyone will experience. For children, death, and the grief that comes with it, can be very hard to talk about. Many kids, even teens, don’t have the abilities or the tools to adequately express their emotions. And when a child has special needs that can make expressing emotions, or even basic communication challenging, the lasting effects of dealing with death and grief can be devastating.

Children Experience Grief Differently.

As parents, it’s sometimes easy to forget that our kids are upset when we face the loss of a parent, grandparent, sibling, or family friend. We see them playing together at funerals and think to ourselves that they’re okay. Sometimes it’s not till days or weeks later that the emotional problems begin to show themselves. Death and grief are difficult to understand for children, no matter what the age.

Support Groups Can Help.

Fortunately there are groups and organizations that exist for the sole purpose of helping children deal with death and grief. One such group is Ele’s Place, in Michigan. Our guest on this episode of Special Parents Confidential is Kelly Ahti, one of the program directors for Ele’s Place in Grand Rapids. She talks about the challenges of how grief can affect children of all ages from toddlers to teenagers. Kelly also has ideas of what parents and relatives can do to help kids deal with their emotions and get through the difficulties and sadness that occurs.

Links to Websites mentioned in the interview:

Ele’s Place – a Healing Center For Grieving Children and Teens

The National Alliance For Grieving Children Resource website with a national and international directory for counseling and therapy centers for children who are grieving.

Sesame Street Video and Articles on Grief 

As always a reminder that if you like this episode of Special Parents Confidential or any episode we’ve done, please share our site with your friends, family, and all your connections on social media. You can do this easily with the social media buttons located right below this paragraph. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, add us on Google Plus, Tumbler, Linked In, Pintrest, Stumble Upon, Reddit, or other social media sites that you use. You can also sign up for our email service and have new posts and podcast episodes delivered right to your inbox the moment they’re available online. That form is located to the right of this text. We’re also on iTunes, Stitcher, and Poddirectory as a free subscription and if you have a moment, feel free to write a review about our podcast on either of those sites. Anything you can do to help spread the word about Special Parents Confidential will help us be able to continue these podcasts.
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A Sibling’s Perspective – Revisiting SPC Episode 31

A Sibling’s Perspective.

The Holidays always mean family visits, and with that in mind, we thought our episode on a sibling’s perspective would be a good one to repost. This episode is from October of 2015, when we interviewed Aubrey Boerma, who grew up with an older brother who has Autism.

What’s it like growing up with a special needs sibling? Do you have feelings of being ignored by your parents? Do you worry about how your special needs sibling will be treated by society or your friends in particular? Are you frustrated over how often you have to explain why your special needs sibling “acts like that”? 

As hard as it is to be a parent of a special needs child, it can also be just as hard to be a sibling of one. From having to attend numerous medical or therapy appointments, to missing out on school events or social events, many siblings feel like their lives have to take second place to the lives of the special needs child. Even into adulthood, some people carry resentments and anger over their relationships with their special needs siblings. 

There Are Answers.

In this episode of Special Parents Confidential, we talk to Aubrey Boerma, who has a brother with special needs. She also works with sibling youth support groups, helping child siblings learn to cope with their special needs brothers or sisters. Aubrey talks about how not all sibling relationships have to be difficult. For many people, having a sibling with special needs can be an incredible experience. You learn to be a much more patient and tolerant person with great empathy for all kinds of situations. Many siblings of special needs children, including Aubrey, say that their brother or sister are the best thing that happened to them. She also has suggestions for parents on how to help siblings talk about their relationships and their feelings toward their special needs brother or sister.

Links To Websites Mentioned In This Podcast:

The Sibling Support Project – Founded in 1990, the Sibling Support Project is the first national program dedicated to the life-long and ever-changing concerns of millions of brothers and sisters of people with special health, developmental, and mental health concerns. 

Sibling Leadership Network – Providing siblings of individuals with disabilities the information, support, and tools to advocate with their brothers and sisters and to promote the issues important to them and their entire families.

The Sibling Survival Guide – A “How To” guide to being an adult sibling of a special needs person. 

Growing Up With Ben – The Blog Post that Aubrey wrote about her life and relationship with her special needs brother.

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Sibling Support – Revisiting SPC Episode 29

Sibling Support

The Holidays always mean family visits, and with that in mind, we thought the subject of Sibling Support would be a good one to repost. This is the first of two episodes on Sibling Support we did, back in July of 2015.

Being a parent of a special needs child requires a great deal of concentration and a lot of involvement. So much so that often if the special needs child has siblings, they can feel overlooked or forgotten. Another challenge is stress involving sadness or unanswered concerns about the special needs child, which can lead to greater problems as children grow into adulthood. 

Communication Is Key

The simple fact of the matter is, the sibling is going to have the longest relationship with a person who has special needs. Longer than the parents or any professional support person. Siblings can be the most important person a special needs child will have in his or her life. Yet for many families, parents don’t always communicate well with a sibling about the situation involving the special needs brother or sister.

How can parents prevent poor relationships with the rest of their children so that they are able to help advocate and care for their special needs sibling? One excellent way is to make sure your other children have support group help, like Sibling Support.

Groups That Can Help.

In this episode of Special Parents Confidential, John talks to Andrea Vugteveen, a Sibling Support Group facilitator with Family Tree Therapies in Grand Rapids, MI. Andrea talks about the problems that siblings often have in their relationships with their special needs brother or sister, as well as their parents. She discusses what siblings of special needs kids want, and offers advice on what parents can do to make sure the relationships are strong and healthy.

Links Mentioned In This Podcast

The Sibling Support Project

Sibs UK – Sibling support for the United Kingdom

The following PDF attachment has the above links, as well as book titles, and links to You Tube videos about Sibling Support. Download the PDF by clicking here: Sib Group Parent Resources  

The following PDF attachment is the letter for the Child Who Has A Sibling With Special Needs. Download the PDF by clicking here: Dear Child Of A Sib With Special Needs

As always a reminder that if you like this episode of Special Parents Confidential or any episode we’ve done, please share our site with your friends, family, and all your connections on social media. You can do this easily with the social media buttons located right below this paragraph. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, add us on Google Plus, Tumbler, Linked In, Pintrest, Stumble Upon, Reddit, or other social media sites that you use. You can also sign up for our email service and have new posts and podcast episodes delivered right to your inbox the moment they’re available online. That form is located to the right of this text. We’re also on iTunes, Stitcher and Poddirectory as a free subscription, and if you have a moment, please write a review about our podcast on either of those sites. Anything you can do to help spread the word about Special Parents Confidential will help us be able to continue these podcasts.
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Learn The Signs – Act Early – Revisiting SPC Episode 37

Learn The Signs – Act Early

Last spring we talked to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention about their Learn The Signs, Act Early, program to help parents better understand if their child has Autism. 

Autism is a growing concern for parents across the United States and around the world. It’s estimated that 1 in 68 children will be diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum. The good news is there are now more effective treatments and therapies than ever before, and there is more credible research and information that can help parents, educators, and medical professionals work effectively with children and adults with Autism to lead healthy and productive lives.

Learn The Signs. Act Early. From The CDC.

To help parents understand what Autism is and how to better monitor their children’s developmental milestones, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, commonly known as the CDC, has launched a new program website: Learn The Signs. Act Early.  From the website: 

“From birth to 5 years, your child should reach milestones in how he plays, learns, speaks, acts and moves. Track your child’s development and act early if you have a concern.”

In this episode of Special Parents Confidential, we talk to two guests from the CDC; Katie Green, who is project lead for Learn The Signs. Act Early, and Dr. Jennifer Zubler, who is a pediatric medical consultant for the CDC’s National Center on Birth Defects and Developmental Disabilities. You’ll learn about how the program began, some of the milestones that your child should achieve, the importance of early diagnosis, and how to talk to your doctor or pediatrician if you are concerned about your child’s developmental progress.

Important Links From The CDC:

Learn The Signs. Act Early.

Developmental Milestones.

Printable Milestones Checklist pdf.

Amazing Me – It’s Busy Being 3! Parents, this book for children ages 2-4 will show you what to look for as your child grows and develops. Whether you read this story to your child online or have a hard copy of the book, ask your child to find the koala bears. Each page with a koala bear also has a star and milestone at the bottom just for you. See if your 3-year-old is able to do some of the same things as Joey.

What To Do If You’re Concerned.

The National Center on Birth Defects and Developmental Disabilities. – Resource website from the CDC with great information on many issues for parents of special needs children.

As always a reminder that if you like this episode of Special Parents Confidential or any episode we’ve done, please share our site with your friends, family, and all your connections on social media. You can do this easily with the social media buttons located right below this paragraph. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, add us on Google Plus, Tumblr, Linked In, Pintrest, Stumble Upon, Reddit, or other social media sites that you prefer. You can also sign up for our email service and have new posts and podcast episodes delivered right to your inbox the moment they’re available online. That form is located to the right of this text. We’re also on iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIN, and Poddirectory as a free subscription and if you have a moment, feel free to write a review about our podcast on either of those services. Anything you can do to help spread the word about Special Parents Confidential will help us be able to continue these podcasts.
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Colds and the Flu – Revisiting SPC Episode 48

Colds and the Flu – Revisiting SPC Episode 48

It seems like every year the season for colds and the flu gets longer. Whether you’re a parent of a special needs child or not, our kids are coming down with colds and the flu all year round – for that matter, so are we parents. But what exactly are colds and the flu? Did you know that they share some of the same symptoms? How do you tell them apart? What’s the difference between the flu and a 24 hour stomach bug? How do you treat these illnesses and what can you do if you have a special needs child that has sensitivities to medicines or has challenges with standard treatments?

Why Do Colds And The Flu Affect Kids Differently Than Adults?

For this episode of Special Parents Confidential we are joined again by our friend Dr. Patricia Schultz, who has some answers. Including ways that you can help treat kids who have aversions to medicines. She also talks about the warning signs for when your child might have something else going on instead of the cold or the flu, why dehydration is a huge concern for sick kids, and – most importantly – when it’s time to take your child to the hospital.

Always Call Your Doctor First.

You’ll hear great advice about how colds and the flu, as well as Noroviruses and other illnesses can affect babies and infants, toddlers, younger children, teenagers and adults.  As always, though, Dr. Schultz’s advice is merely for informational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your child’s health, be sure to contact your family health provider or pediatrician.

Links Mentioned In This Podcast.

The Oral Rehydration Solution from The World Health Organization

The Common Cold – What Parents Need To Know. From the American Academy of Pediatrics.

The Flu – Healthy Children from The American Academy of Pediatrics. 

Surviving The Stomach Bug – American Academy of Pediatrics. 

Kids Health – Vomiting 

Kids Health – Diarrhea

Support Special Parents Confidential

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