Tag Archives: Downs Syndrome

Death And Grief – Revisiting SPC Episode 32

Death And Grief.

Death and grief are subjects that are often overlooked at the holidays. Celebrations can be difficult for families who have recently experienced a loss. Adults and children experience grief in different ways, especially children with special needs. The important thing to remember is there is no time-frame for ‘getting over it’ or even the so-called ‘sense of closure’ (which often never happens). With that in mind, we invite you to listen again to episode 32 from January of 2016, to get some great advice on coping with grief. 

Death is one of those subjects that few people want to talk about, yet everyone will experience. For children, death, and the grief that comes with it, can be very hard to talk about. Many kids, even teens, don’t have the abilities or the tools to adequately express their emotions. And when a child has special needs that can make expressing emotions, or even basic communication challenging, the lasting effects of dealing with death and grief can be devastating.

Children Experience Grief Differently.

As parents, it’s sometimes easy to forget that our kids are upset when we face the loss of a parent, grandparent, sibling, or family friend. We see them playing together at funerals and think to ourselves that they’re okay. Sometimes it’s not till days or weeks later that the emotional problems begin to show themselves. Death and grief are difficult to understand for children, no matter what the age.

Support Groups Can Help.

Fortunately there are groups and organizations that exist for the sole purpose of helping children deal with death and grief. One such group is Ele’s Place, in Michigan. Our guest on this episode of Special Parents Confidential is Kelly Ahti, one of the program directors for Ele’s Place in Grand Rapids. She talks about the challenges of how grief can affect children of all ages from toddlers to teenagers. Kelly also has ideas of what parents and relatives can do to help kids deal with their emotions and get through the difficulties and sadness that occurs.

Links to Websites mentioned in the interview:

Ele’s Place – a Healing Center For Grieving Children and Teens

The National Alliance For Grieving Children Resource website with a national and international directory for counseling and therapy centers for children who are grieving.

Sesame Street Video and Articles on Grief 

As always a reminder that if you like this episode of Special Parents Confidential or any episode we’ve done, please share our site with your friends, family, and all your connections on social media. You can do this easily with the social media buttons located right below this paragraph. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, add us on Google Plus, Tumbler, Linked In, Pintrest, Stumble Upon, Reddit, or other social media sites that you use. You can also sign up for our email service and have new posts and podcast episodes delivered right to your inbox the moment they’re available online. That form is located to the right of this text. We’re also on iTunes, Stitcher, and Poddirectory as a free subscription and if you have a moment, feel free to write a review about our podcast on either of those sites. Anything you can do to help spread the word about Special Parents Confidential will help us be able to continue these podcasts.
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Sibling Support – Revisiting SPC Episode 29

Sibling Support

The Holidays always mean family visits, and with that in mind, we thought the subject of Sibling Support would be a good one to repost. This is the first of two episodes on Sibling Support we did, back in July of 2015.

Being a parent of a special needs child requires a great deal of concentration and a lot of involvement. So much so that often if the special needs child has siblings, they can feel overlooked or forgotten. Another challenge is stress involving sadness or unanswered concerns about the special needs child, which can lead to greater problems as children grow into adulthood. 

Communication Is Key

The simple fact of the matter is, the sibling is going to have the longest relationship with a person who has special needs. Longer than the parents or any professional support person. Siblings can be the most important person a special needs child will have in his or her life. Yet for many families, parents don’t always communicate well with a sibling about the situation involving the special needs brother or sister.

How can parents prevent poor relationships with the rest of their children so that they are able to help advocate and care for their special needs sibling? One excellent way is to make sure your other children have support group help, like Sibling Support.

Groups That Can Help.

In this episode of Special Parents Confidential, John talks to Andrea Vugteveen, a Sibling Support Group facilitator with Family Tree Therapies in Grand Rapids, MI. Andrea talks about the problems that siblings often have in their relationships with their special needs brother or sister, as well as their parents. She discusses what siblings of special needs kids want, and offers advice on what parents can do to make sure the relationships are strong and healthy.

Links Mentioned In This Podcast

The Sibling Support Project

Sibs UK – Sibling support for the United Kingdom

The following PDF attachment has the above links, as well as book titles, and links to You Tube videos about Sibling Support. Download the PDF by clicking here: Sib Group Parent Resources  

The following PDF attachment is the letter for the Child Who Has A Sibling With Special Needs. Download the PDF by clicking here: Dear Child Of A Sib With Special Needs

As always a reminder that if you like this episode of Special Parents Confidential or any episode we’ve done, please share our site with your friends, family, and all your connections on social media. You can do this easily with the social media buttons located right below this paragraph. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, add us on Google Plus, Tumbler, Linked In, Pintrest, Stumble Upon, Reddit, or other social media sites that you use. You can also sign up for our email service and have new posts and podcast episodes delivered right to your inbox the moment they’re available online. That form is located to the right of this text. We’re also on iTunes, Stitcher and Poddirectory as a free subscription, and if you have a moment, please write a review about our podcast on either of those sites. Anything you can do to help spread the word about Special Parents Confidential will help us be able to continue these podcasts.
Thanks for your support!

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Special Parents Confidential Episode 32 Death and Grief.

Special Parents Confidential Episode 32 Death and Grief.

Death is one of those subjects that few people want to talk about, yet everyone will experience. For children, death, and the grief that comes with it, can be very hard to talk about. Many kids, even teens, don’t have the abilities or the tools to adequately express their emotions. And when a child has special needs that can make expressing emotions, or even basic communication challenging, the lasting effects of dealing with death and grief can be devastating.

As parents, it’s sometimes easy to forget that our kids are upset when we face the loss of a parent, grandparent, sibling, or family friend. We see them playing together at funerals and think to ourselves that they’re okay. Sometimes it’s not till days or weeks later that the emotional problems begin to show themselves. Death and grief are difficult to understand for children, no matter what the age.

Fortunately there are groups and organizations that exist for the sole purpose of helping children deal with death and grief. One such group is Ele’s Place, in Michigan. Our guest on this episode of Special Parents Confidential is Kelly Ahti, one of the program directors for Ele’s Place in Grand Rapids. She talks about the challenges of how grief can affect children of all ages from toddlers to teenagers. Kelly also has ideas of what parents and relatives can do to help kids deal with their emotions and get through the difficulties and sadness that occurs.

As always a reminder that if you like this episode of Special Parents Confidential or any episode we’ve done, please share our site with your friends, family, and all your connections on social media. You can do this easily with the social media buttons located right below this paragraph. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, add us on Google Plus, Tumbler, Linked In, Pintrest, Stumble Upon, Reddit, or other social media sites that you use. You can also sign up for our email service and have new posts and podcast episodes delivered right to your inbox the moment they’re available online. That form is located to the right of this text. We’re also on iTunes, Stitcher, and Poddirectory as a free subscription and if you have a moment, feel free to write a review about our podcast on either of those sites. Anything you can do to help spread the word about Special Parents Confidential will help us be able to continue these podcasts.
Thanks for your support!

Links to Websites mentioned in the interview:

Ele’s Place – a Healing Center For Grieving Children and Teens

The National Alliance For Grieving Children Resource website with a national and international directory for counseling and therapy centers for children who are grieving.

Sesame Street Video and Articles on Grief 

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Traveling For Medical Or Therapy Reasons – Some Tips

Traveling For Medical Or Therapy Reasons – Some Tips.

One of the most concerning dilemmas faced by parents of special needs children is the search for medical specialists. Whether it’s for physical disabilities, developmental disabilities, or learning disabilities, our kids have challenges that sometimes cannot be treated by standard family medical practices.

To complicate matters further, depending on where you live there may not be any specialists who are qualified in your child’s particular need. Furthermore, in some cases, complex issues arise that require a higher degree of specialty in your child’s issue.

The unfortunate fact is for many parents of special needs children, getting the right kind of medical or therapeutic services may require traveling long distances across a state or even several states in order to get the help needed.

We faced this situation a few years back, and after doing a lot of research, we were able to find services that made traveling a lot easier and less stressful.

Car Rentals. 

When making repeated day trips — traveling by vehicle to and from your destination — you might want to consider renting a car instead of putting all the miles and wear on your own vehicle. Here are some tips on car rentals:

Renting a car from an agency that is not located at an airport is usually cheaper. Car rental offices located at airports or transportation hubs charge extra return and usage fees that are typically waived at off-site car rental offices. Car rental agencies usually have a greater number of small to mid-size cars for rent than large sedans, vans or SUVs, so you’ll have an easier time getting the vehicle you want if you can take a small to midsize model.

Most car rental agencies offer unlimited milage in their packages. However, almost all of them have a two to four state restriction on where you can drive the car. For example, if you rent a car in Chicago, you may be restricted to travel only in Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, and Wisconsin (or fewer states). Be certain to ask the rental agent if you need to travel further than your region. The only rental agency we found that has absolutely no restrictions on inter-state travel within the 48 contiguous states is Hertz… however be sure to ask because that may change without notice.

Travel By Air.

When traveling a greater distance than you can drive in one day, you may want to consider air travel. Two great organizations exist to help you make those flights for free.

Air Care Alliance. Air Care Alliance helps to coordinate public benefit flying groups like Angel Flight, Operation Angel Planes, Wings of Hope, and many more. They offer free travel for medical needs on private planes in the United States, as well as international public benefit flight groups. 

Because Air Care Alliance works with private plane owners with all different kinds of aircraft you might fly on anything from a corporate jet to a small four passenger plane, depending on your needs. This service can accommodate small town airports that are not often served by commercial flights. Check out Air Care Alliance’s directory of groups that they work with:          Air Care Alliance Groups Directory

Miracle Flights. Miracle Flights – How We Help Miracle Flights offers free commercial airline travel from frequent flyers who donate their milage awards. They also work with the airlines for accommodations and accessibility for specialized medical needs. Miracle Flights has free travel available on domestic U.S. flights, as well as International flights, and can even help families accommodate service dogs on flights.

Overnight Stays.

Let’s face it, hotels can be expensive and a stay in one for medical or therapy reasons is typically not covered by health insurance plans. Fortunately there are some options that are very affordable and offer great services for special needs children.

The most well known are the Ronald McDonald Houses. Most RMH locations offer accommodations for families of children up to age 18 receiving medical or therapeutic care. The facilities are equipped with all accessible rooms, elevators, indoor play areas, libraries, video game consoles, and other fun areas for kids. Some also have outdoor accessible playgrounds. Rooms vary from two beds and a bathroom, to family rooms with living rooms and dining tables, a kitchen, and one or two bedrooms. Laundry facilities are available and a group kitchen and dining room are also included for all guests. Most RMH facilities also offer transportation services to the hospitals or clinics where you need to go, as well as transportation to local airports, train stations, or bus depots.

Ronald McDonald House facilities typically offer overnight stays for a donation of up to twenty five dollars per night, depending on location and availability, but can work with families on ability to pay with free of charge options. If the RMH you are hoping to stay with does not have a room available for the night you need, they can offer vouchers for greatly reduced rates at nearby hotels of up to seventy five percent off a regular night’s stay, depending on availability. It’s best to call the local RMH near your destination for detailed information and reservations.

Other options: Check with the hospital or clinic that you are traveling to for other recommendations on overnight stays. Some offer hotel style rooms for families right within their facilities. There may also be other accommodation services for family medical stays in the nearby area that they can arrange for you.

Final Thoughts:

Traveling for medical or therapy reasons can be one of the most stressful things a family will go through. Take the time to research where you are going, how to get there, and where you will stay before you go. Ask lots of questions about accommodations, nearby facilities, even information on local grocery and retail stores. Get directions and use internet map services or GPS apps to help you figure out where you will be and how to get around. If you travel without a vehicle, find out about public transportation options and/or taxi services in the city where you are staying.

Get to know the city you’re traveling to with Wikipedia and Wikivoyage (formerly Wikitravel), especially if you’re going to have a stay of a few days or more, so that you will have options for things to do when you have some time to venture out for a break. This will happen. You’ll need a break from time to time… it won’t make you a bad parent to take a little time for yourself. You might also have time to take your child out for a little adventure between therapies or medical treatments. Knowing where to go for fun at those times will definitely help.

Planning ahead and lots of research will help you make the best of a difficult situation and make the experience better for your child.

Click on the link below for a downloadable PDF version of this article.

Traveling For Medical Or Therapy Reasons – Some Tips

Special Parents Confidential Episode 29 Sibling Support

Sibling Support.

Being a parent of a special needs child requires a great deal of concentration and a lot of involvement. So much so that often if the special needs child has siblings, they can feel overlooked or forgotten. Another challenge is stress involving sadness or unanswered concerns about the special needs child, which can lead to greater problems as children grow into adulthood. 

The simple fact of the matter is, the sibling is going to have the longest relationship with a person who has special needs. Longer than the parents or any professional support person. Siblings can be the most important person a special needs child will have in his or her life. Yet for many families, parents don’t always communicate well with a sibling about the situation involving the special needs brother or sister.

How can parents prevent poor relationships with the rest of their children so that they are able to help advocate and care for their special needs sibling? One excellent way is to make sure your other children have support group help, like Sibling Support.

In this episode of Special Parents Confidential, John talks to Andrea Vugteveen, a Sibling Support Group facilitator with Family Tree Therapies in Grand Rapids, MI. Andrea talks about the problems that siblings often have in their relationships with their special needs brother or sister, as well as their parents. She discusses what siblings of special needs kids want, and offers advice on what parents can do to make sure the relationships are strong and healthy.

Links Mentioned In This Podcast

The Sibling Support Project

Sibs UK – Sibling support for the United Kingdom

The following PDF attachment has the above links, as well as book titles, and links to You Tube videos about Sibling Support. Download the PDF by clicking here: Sib Group Parent Resources  

The following PDF attachment is the letter for the Child Who Has A Sibling With Special Needs. Download the PDF by clicking here: Dear Child Of A Sib With Special Needs

As always a reminder that if you like this episode of Special Parents Confidential or any episode we’ve done, please share our site with your friends, family, and all your connections on social media. You can do this easily with the social media buttons located right below this paragraph. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, add us on Google Plus, Tumbler, Linked In, Pintrest, Stumble Upon, Reddit, or other social media sites that you use. You can also sign up for our email service and have new posts and podcast episodes delivered right to your inbox the moment they’re available online. That form is located to the right of this text. We’re also on iTunes, Stitcher and Poddirectory as a free subscription, and if you have a moment, please write a review about our podcast on either of those sites. Anything you can do to help spread the word about Special Parents Confidential will help us be able to continue these podcasts.
Thanks for your support!

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Special Parents Confidential 08 Social Issues In School

Social Issues In School

When we talk about issues that can cause anxiety for parents of special needs kids,  dealing with social situations in school and elsewhere is probably right at the top of the list.  Will our children be accepted or will they be teased? Will  our kids be able to handle the day to day interactions in the class room, in the cafeteria, or on the playground? What about bullying? And what are we supposed to do when our kids experience problems with these situations?

For many schools the person who can help guide our kids through their day in school is the social worker. They’re also the person who parents can talk to for help with making sure their special needs child can fit into the various social situations and can offer advice that parents can use to reinforce the school’s expectations at home.

Our guest on this episode of Special Parents Confidential is Chris Kenward, an elementary school social worker who has many years of experience dealing with both special needs students and general education students.  Many experts agree, the vast majority of social problems begin early in elementary school so the sooner a child with special needs can get help in dealing with social issues, the better their progress will be throughout their life. The information Chris shares here is going to be vital for every parent of a special needs child, as well as for teachers, special education experts, care givers, and anyone who has a relationship with a special needs kid.

Links Mentioned In The Podcast: 

Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid  The website from the authors of the book.

Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid link to the book’s listing for sale on Amazon

Driven Story – Jon Singer – This is the website of the author of the book, “The Special Needs Parent Handbook”, which you can find on this page.

Views From Our Shoes – The website of the Sibling Support Project, where you can see stories from the book and order a copy.

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