Tag Archives: Uncles

Death And Grief – Revisiting SPC Episode 32

Death And Grief.

Death and grief are subjects that are often overlooked at the holidays. Celebrations can be difficult for families who have recently experienced a loss. Adults and children experience grief in different ways, especially children with special needs. The important thing to remember is there is no time-frame for ‘getting over it’ or even the so-called ‘sense of closure’ (which often never happens). With that in mind, we invite you to listen again to episode 32 from January of 2016, to get some great advice on coping with grief. 

Death is one of those subjects that few people want to talk about, yet everyone will experience. For children, death, and the grief that comes with it, can be very hard to talk about. Many kids, even teens, don’t have the abilities or the tools to adequately express their emotions. And when a child has special needs that can make expressing emotions, or even basic communication challenging, the lasting effects of dealing with death and grief can be devastating.

Children Experience Grief Differently.

As parents, it’s sometimes easy to forget that our kids are upset when we face the loss of a parent, grandparent, sibling, or family friend. We see them playing together at funerals and think to ourselves that they’re okay. Sometimes it’s not till days or weeks later that the emotional problems begin to show themselves. Death and grief are difficult to understand for children, no matter what the age.

Support Groups Can Help.

Fortunately there are groups and organizations that exist for the sole purpose of helping children deal with death and grief. One such group is Ele’s Place, in Michigan. Our guest on this episode of Special Parents Confidential is Kelly Ahti, one of the program directors for Ele’s Place in Grand Rapids. She talks about the challenges of how grief can affect children of all ages from toddlers to teenagers. Kelly also has ideas of what parents and relatives can do to help kids deal with their emotions and get through the difficulties and sadness that occurs.

Links to Websites mentioned in the interview:

Ele’s Place – a Healing Center For Grieving Children and Teens

The National Alliance For Grieving Children Resource website with a national and international directory for counseling and therapy centers for children who are grieving.

Sesame Street Video and Articles on Grief 

As always a reminder that if you like this episode of Special Parents Confidential or any episode we’ve done, please share our site with your friends, family, and all your connections on social media. You can do this easily with the social media buttons located right below this paragraph. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, add us on Google Plus, Tumbler, Linked In, Pintrest, Stumble Upon, Reddit, or other social media sites that you use. You can also sign up for our email service and have new posts and podcast episodes delivered right to your inbox the moment they’re available online. That form is located to the right of this text. We’re also on iTunes, Stitcher, and Poddirectory as a free subscription and if you have a moment, feel free to write a review about our podcast on either of those sites. Anything you can do to help spread the word about Special Parents Confidential will help us be able to continue these podcasts.
Thanks for your support!

A Sibling’s Perspective – Revisiting SPC Episode 31

A Sibling’s Perspective.

The Holidays always mean family visits, and with that in mind, we thought our episode on a sibling’s perspective would be a good one to repost. This episode is from October of 2015, when we interviewed Aubrey Boerma, who grew up with an older brother who has Autism.

What’s it like growing up with a special needs sibling? Do you have feelings of being ignored by your parents? Do you worry about how your special needs sibling will be treated by society or your friends in particular? Are you frustrated over how often you have to explain why your special needs sibling “acts like that”? 

As hard as it is to be a parent of a special needs child, it can also be just as hard to be a sibling of one. From having to attend numerous medical or therapy appointments, to missing out on school events or social events, many siblings feel like their lives have to take second place to the lives of the special needs child. Even into adulthood, some people carry resentments and anger over their relationships with their special needs siblings. 

There Are Answers.

In this episode of Special Parents Confidential, we talk to Aubrey Boerma, who has a brother with special needs. She also works with sibling youth support groups, helping child siblings learn to cope with their special needs brothers or sisters. Aubrey talks about how not all sibling relationships have to be difficult. For many people, having a sibling with special needs can be an incredible experience. You learn to be a much more patient and tolerant person with great empathy for all kinds of situations. Many siblings of special needs children, including Aubrey, say that their brother or sister are the best thing that happened to them. She also has suggestions for parents on how to help siblings talk about their relationships and their feelings toward their special needs brother or sister.

Links To Websites Mentioned In This Podcast:

The Sibling Support Project  Founded in 1990, the Sibling Support Project is the first national program dedicated to the life-long and ever-changing concerns of millions of brothers and sisters of people with special health, developmental, and mental health concerns. 

Sibling Leadership Network – Providing siblings of individuals with disabilities the information, support, and tools to advocate with their brothers and sisters and to promote the issues important to them and their entire families.

The Sibling Survival Guide – A “How To” guide to being an adult sibling of a special needs person. 

Growing Up With Ben – The Blog Post that Aubrey wrote about her life and relationship with her special needs brother.

Special Parents Confidential Episode 32 Death and Grief.

Special Parents Confidential Episode 32 Death and Grief.

Death is one of those subjects that few people want to talk about, yet everyone will experience. For children, death, and the grief that comes with it, can be very hard to talk about. Many kids, even teens, don’t have the abilities or the tools to adequately express their emotions. And when a child has special needs that can make expressing emotions, or even basic communication challenging, the lasting effects of dealing with death and grief can be devastating.

As parents, it’s sometimes easy to forget that our kids are upset when we face the loss of a parent, grandparent, sibling, or family friend. We see them playing together at funerals and think to ourselves that they’re okay. Sometimes it’s not till days or weeks later that the emotional problems begin to show themselves. Death and grief are difficult to understand for children, no matter what the age.

Fortunately there are groups and organizations that exist for the sole purpose of helping children deal with death and grief. One such group is Ele’s Place, in Michigan. Our guest on this episode of Special Parents Confidential is Kelly Ahti, one of the program directors for Ele’s Place in Grand Rapids. She talks about the challenges of how grief can affect children of all ages from toddlers to teenagers. Kelly also has ideas of what parents and relatives can do to help kids deal with their emotions and get through the difficulties and sadness that occurs.

As always a reminder that if you like this episode of Special Parents Confidential or any episode we’ve done, please share our site with your friends, family, and all your connections on social media. You can do this easily with the social media buttons located right below this paragraph. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, add us on Google Plus, Tumbler, Linked In, Pintrest, Stumble Upon, Reddit, or other social media sites that you use. You can also sign up for our email service and have new posts and podcast episodes delivered right to your inbox the moment they’re available online. That form is located to the right of this text. We’re also on iTunes, Stitcher, and Poddirectory as a free subscription and if you have a moment, feel free to write a review about our podcast on either of those sites. Anything you can do to help spread the word about Special Parents Confidential will help us be able to continue these podcasts.
Thanks for your support!

Links to Websites mentioned in the interview:

Ele’s Place – a Healing Center For Grieving Children and Teens

The National Alliance For Grieving Children Resource website with a national and international directory for counseling and therapy centers for children who are grieving.

Sesame Street Video and Articles on Grief 

Special Parents Confidential Episode 31 A Sibling’s Perspective

A Sibling’s Perspective.

What’s it like growing up with a special needs sibling? Do you have feelings of being ignored by your parents? Do you worry about how your special needs sibling will be treated by society or your friends in particular? Are you frustrated over how often you have to explain why your special needs sibling “acts like that”?

As hard as it is to be a parent of a special needs child, it can also be just as hard to be a sibling of one. From having to attend numerous medical or therapy appointments, to missing out on school events or social events, many siblings feel like their lives have to take second place to the lives of the special needs child. Even into adulthood, some people carry resentments and anger over their relationships with their special needs siblings. 

In this episode of Special Parents Confidential, we talk to Aubrey Boerma, who has a brother with special needs. She also works with sibling youth support groups, helping child siblings learn to cope with their special needs brothers or sisters. Aubrey talks about how not all sibling relationships have to be difficult. For many people, having a sibling with special needs can be an incredible experience. You learn to be a much more patient and tolerant person with great empathy for all kinds of situations. Many siblings of special needs children, including Aubrey, say that their brother or sister are the best thing that happened to them. She also has suggestions for parents on how to help siblings talk about their relationships and their feelings toward their special needs brother or sister.

Links To Websites Mentioned In This Podcast:

The Sibling Support Project  Founded in 1990, the Sibling Support Project is the first national program dedicated to the life-long and ever-changing concerns of millions of brothers and sisters of people with special health, developmental, and mental health concerns. 

Sibling Leadership Network – Providing siblings of individuals with disabilities the information, support, and tools to advocate with their brothers and sisters and to promote the issues important to them and their entire families.

The Sibling Survival Guide – A “How To” guide to being an adult sibling of a special needs person. 

Growing Up With Ben – The Blog Post that Aubrey wrote about her life and relationship with her special needs brother.